For me, it’s missing my husband of 30 years who was the life of the party, and estrangement from family of origin.
I feel this pain AND I am grateful for our daughter and her family, and for a wonderful God who sent His son for me.
As for the 4 tips in this article: I don’t go to parties by people I could care less about; with dysfunctional family- I arrive late and leave early; and I’m journaling memories so that one day my grand children can read about their lineage.
What are you doing to help keep your sanity during this season, and perhaps even enjoy it?
I just lost my mother in Feburary in a car accident, this is my first christmas without her and im not really feeling the spirit this year as i miss her so much. I have my boyfriend and his family with me thats helping but nothing is the same without her. Trying to enjoy christmas movies still tho
So pleased to hear from you Amy. There are some people here in Ribblr who can hold space for your journey of grief. I found that people like this are not common.
You can talk anytime or if you’d rather- message me.
It’s always such a bittersweet time for me. Both good and bad. I have one side of my family who is very family-oriented, and we do a lot, the other side is quite neglectful and a bit problematic in terms of family dynamics. I do what I can to foster a good relationship, as well as trying to make sure the other side isn’t neglected- it’s always hard to find a balance between me wanting to help, and doing what is best for my mental health.
I think the most important coping mechanism for me is writing as well as crocheting. Both are creative outlets for the good and the bad. I do find being mindful helps - such as lighting my favorite candle scents, sitting with a favorite blanket, recalling fond memories, scrapbooking, even making or ordering my favorite comfort foods if I’m feeling extra down. Those are just a few of the things I do to help, anyways.
Hugs and well wishes to all of those during the holidays. I know it can be both a great and an extremely difficult time.
I like that. I light candles, have my cozy blankets (special ones that I picked out for ultra softness), shut the door to my room, and listen to instrumental music or my Bible app.
Looking back, I can’t believe the non stop pace I sustained for 29 years!
Thank you for sharing @Alyphira
I’m so sorry for you loss, losing a parent is very hard. The first few years the holidays will be very hard. I lost my mom about 20 years ago to cancer. I didn’t even want my children to celebrate mother’s day for about 5 years because it made me cry, but please know that tho you will always miss her, the pain of her loss does get easier and you will eventually have more days that are not so grief stricken. When I’m missing my mom, because she taught me to knit and was a huge sports fan, I will watch whatever sports is that season (yeah, she even watched golf ) and knit. Helps me feel that she is close. You will find ways to work around your grief, how we express our grief and how long it lasts is very personal, it does get easier, but unfortunately grief takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself.