So, i have the feels.
So, there are these kids on the bus and they absolutely despise me. And i absolutely despise them.
Well, they just gave me a slice of oranges cuz one of them felt bad for me. But i still despise them.
I like to sit on the back of the bus. Ik, ik. But it gives me comfort. So, on the bus in the morning, i sit in the very back. In the afternoon, i sit wherever there is room. But, they usually get to the bus early. And i save a seat for my friend.
They save the entire seats with their instrument all the time for their friends. And yet when i save one peice of the seat, they get so mad and over frustrated.
They have never said anything mean to me before.
But they did today.
There was an empty seat next to a girl. This girl dodnt like me particularly.
But there was an empty seat, and i took it. Here other friend tried to get me out. She tried to grab me under my arm. I sat down.
The girl that sat next to me said “o no aint no ______ way. " she got up, and got across the seat and sat with another friend. Then she said " o aint no way im sitting next to her, shes stinky, and shes a ________ and she looks like an ogre!” She directed that at me. But i didnt say anything.
I feel like i cant win with these people. They make me the villain all the time. When in actuallity, theyre just as guilty as i am.
I am headstrong, and stubborn and i wont back down from and argument. But i feel so bad inside. I want to do something to ease the pain i feel in my chest. But i know i cant.
What should i do?
So, i have the feels.
I have never been bullied before, so I am not talking from experience. BUT! But, if I were to have a say, I would start a fight so I will put that say in-
Maybeeee but like I said- DONT START FIGHTS- but another thing I would do is diss the —— out of them
You’re not going to win with them. I went to school with 2 sisters that were like this. I just got to the point that I didnt care if they talked to me or not.
If it’s a source of tension and you feel sick at the thought of having an altercation every day, you might want to consider that your peace is more important than sitting in the back of the bus.
Otherwise, it’s what I call playground rules. The only way to deal with a bully is to kick their a&$. But I’d be concerned that all of them will jump you.
This is a tough situation, and I kind of know where you’re coming from. I was bullied when I went to school, and it has affected my confidence until this day. It’s good that you’re headstong and stubborn, those are traits that really help in this sort of situation. I’ve always been a bit timid, which was a detriment to me; so I’d advice to just stand up for and believe in yourself and your worth and ignore them.
As you get older, you will realize that the world is a much bigger place, and the place you find for yourself is a place where they don’t necessarily belong. I don’t have any sort of contact with any people from that school since I graduated; I don’t think about them, and if they think about me, well, that’s their problem.
I see here, “diss” them or kick their ass. I wouldn’t recommend that. That has a possibility of leading into something you can’t back out of later. When I got bullied, I had a brown belt (the rank before black) in karate, and could easily have taken them down if I chose to do that. Sometimes, when I hear of stuff like this, I wonder what difference it would have made in my life if I did that. Likely, it would have just spread a word that I was violent and turn others against me, too. I also don’t like hurting people, so there’s that.
The question is why they bully. Some people bully because they lack self-confidence, even if they seem to have a lot of it. Those like to put other people down so they themselves can feel like they have some amount of power.
Likely, there’s one person in the group that feels a certain way towards you (god knows what, it could be anything from a threat (not necessarily physical) to jealousy for whatever reason) and expressed that in a negative way to their friends, and it bloomed from there, especially since in school there’s group mentality. So the girl who insulted you might just want to fit in with the group, and the ones in the group feed off each other’s attention. Searching for a way to belong. So I’d say that likely it has more to do with them and their confidence issues rather than you, because that’s how it is, most times. You might just have been unlucky enough to be their fuel to raise their own sense of value.
As you might be able to tell, this is something I’ve thought about a bit during the 15 years that have passed between my time of being bullied and now; and hopefully, it’s something that helps. I sincerely hope you don’t need to go through what I have the years since then. So keep your strong-headed-ness and stubbornness, and realize that what they do to you isn’t necessarily your fault, it’s on them.
If you feel like it’s getting too much, you can ask either your parents or go to your principal and ask for help there to see what they can do about it, and it can often be anonymous if handled the right way. I truly hope you stand tall throughout this, because it truly hurts me to hear when someone is bullied. Especially when it’s likely grounded in someone else’s confidence issues.
Sorry for responding with a novel, but I hope some of it helps.
I used to get bullied in school by the popular boys, lots of reasons acctually, i used to get called nanny plum bcs i died my hair dark purple, i used to get called black piglets bcs i went out in sliders and a bit of mud got on my toes, he used to smash me into the tables at class and took the piss when i started dating someone, what i did is litterally pretwnd it didnt matter, if they said something i would say, okay and? Are you done, do i look like i care? And eventually they get embarrased with the fact that they cant get a reaction out of you and stop you can also keep saying things like are you done?, are you finished? Everytime they make fun of you and once they are finished say something like, why do u think i care about what you have to say to me, and then say why do you say this to me?, then look away ajd carry on what you were doing, i also got my sister to pin one of them up to a wall and uhhh eheh spangled him and he soon stopped, it was kinda funny bcs a whole group of people surrounded him while she was basically treating him like sh__ and evwryome was laughing at the fact a girl had told him off but ye, just pretend it doesnt matter and they will eventually stop x
Yes, it’s kind of odd, isn’t it? When you’re young, all people look for is fitting in, but when you grow up, everyone wants to be different from the rest In your case it sounds like someone had a crush on you, and they handled it very poorly. I’m sorry you had to go through that, no matter if it was a boy’s crush or something else. Good on you for not giving them the attention/reaction that they wanted!
Gurl i relate to you so much! I’m assuming we’re similar in age and i’ll tell you how i like to solve it. It’s best to almost get a laugh out of it for yourself. So instead of like looking at the ground and not talking when they’re mean, say something back. It might shock them and it should make you feel better. I personally have social anxiety so it can be hard, but it’s totally worth it!! For example today you could’ve said something like “Adios, I don’t want to sit with you either!” And then pretend to like hold your nose and seat the area where she just was sitting as if it smelled. Or when they’re like “You look like an ogre” ( which btw, you do not and i know you’re a gorgeous person) Smile and be like “Aww you’re just the sweetest person. Thank you so much you made my day!” And that should shut them up. Another way is like, “Hmm does your mom know you’re bullying people…?” and they’ll probably stare at your and hesitate, so you say “thought so.” Another (i know) Is make them feel bad. “you make me feel so awful constantly and you’re a bad person,” you might get a sorry and have them feel guilty. While some of these responses will have them laughing because they think what you’re saying is dumb, but you should feel better and if you do it constantly, they should stop. Also if they have instruments then they’re band kids so definitely mention that cause the fact they’re band kids and saying stuff is stupid. and, if someone touches you again, maybe take it to a teacher, cause they can’t be doing that. don’t be scared of being a tattle tale
also just read huggles, very good method.
Thankyou yall so much for the help. Hopefully im able to use it!!
Okay, so coming from someone that had mostly the same issue, I was always told to just ‘ignore’ them. It does not help to ignore them, I did try it maybe try ignoring them. It doesnt always work but it wont hurt to try, if it still happens when you ignore them I would either tell the bus driver or one of the principals. I told my vice principal when it kept happening, she talked to the kids and the bus driver about it. But if you do talk to the bus driver there is a more certainty that they will know it was you that told. If you tell one of the principals they might kno w it was you but not for sure. (Unless they talk to them with you in the room)
I feel like responding with kindness is probably going to catch them off guard.
Theyre doing this because they want that negative reaction from you, to help them feel better about themselves. Theres a big chance that a lot of them are insecure about their own lives, and they see something you have that they dont. So they want to take that away from you by being bullies.
I think if one of them calls you names, you should respond with something kind and positive. It might make them get bored of teasing you, because they know that they wont get that negative reaction they want. Bullies usually want the bad and negative because they know thats how they feel, so seeing someone else feel the same makes them feel less alone, and better, that theyre not the only one.
Even so, that doesnt make bullying okay in any way.
If things get worse, I strongly suggest talking to a counselor, or trusted adult. Its okay to ask for help.
I’m so sorry youre going through this. Ive had to deal with lots of bullies myself.
Just know that this will be over soon. It wont last forever. I know times are hard, but look for the positive! Youve got a team here on Ribblr to support you and back you up on this.