Holding onto a needle (Poem)

I’m holding onto a needle

I don’t need it but yet I hold it

It hurts and I’m obsessed

Why do I hold onto it?

Because it brings memories?

Or it makes me temporarily happy?

I don’t know.

This needle is all I’ve ever known

It’s all I’ll ever know

How do I just let it go?

Without the memories flooding back?

Will it be painful?

Or maybe the end of the world?

Who knows, that’s for me to find out

But when will I let go?

I don’t mind the pain

But the pains all I’ve ever known

The needle brings pain and suffering

But it also brings joy and memories

It’s not easy to let go

Even so I know I need to let go

I love it and it brings me comfort

Even if it is the end of the world

Or nothing happens

I always find myself going back to that needle

For a sense of comfort

Or is it for comfort?

Is it because I know I’m not good enough

I’m not capable of letting you go

Or at least yet

Your harmful behavior and actions

Will forever haunt me

But I can’t bring myself to ever let you go

Let myself let you go

When will I ever let you go let you leave

It hurts to be without you

Even if it hurts even more to be with you

To be around you

You bring pain to me

All sorts of emotions whether it’s pain

Suffering

You cause a lot of that for me and to me

I guess the question is why?

Why do you bring all this pain to me?

The pain it’s like it’s apart of me

Even if it’s not

I love you

I guess that’s why

That’s why you being this pain to me

Is it because you like me too?

If not love

Is it hatred?

Rather that I’m annoying?

An unloveable wretch?

The pain is comfort

It doesn’t matter to me if you don’t love me

It’s the pain I love

The way you yell

The tone in your voice when your aggravated

I cause that tone and that yelling

What does it mean?

That you love me

Or rather that you have a severe hatred for me?

Which is it?

Either way I still love you for it

No matter the pain you bring with it

And I’ll forever hold onto that needle

17 Likes

Wonderful poem!

3 Likes

gasp

GOOD JOB OLLIE

3 Likes

It’s an old one, from about a month ish ago now :3

3 Likes

wow that is so good!!!

3 Likes

but its still good! <3

3 Likes