Hi guys. I know all I’ve been posting is asking for advice for various things, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m 17 years old and it’s like my life just started and I have so much to do. Except it’s not me wanting to do those things, there’s just so much pressure on me. If you read my last post, you’ll know that I begin university in the fall. I don’t know if I’ll be able to succeed because I only graduated from highschool with grades good enough for uni because it felt like my life was ruined if I didn’t do that. School has made me so burnt out and stressed, and I’m not even studying right now. I’m going to school for pre-social work, and although I have so much passion for helping those in need (I grew up in foster care) I just don’t know if its something I even want. I don’t understand why everything has to be so hard, especially now. Everyone my age has jobs, cars, and a future planned out for them. I’m not sure if I want a future. My mental health has been slowly declining and currently I’m at my lowest. It’s been so hard to find joy in the things I used to love like crocheting and playing piano. I used to be so passionate about music and it actually breaks my heart that no matter how hard I try to force myself to pick up one of my instruments I just can’t. Everything feels like a chore and I even slowly lost all my friends because I think I was isolating myself so bad in the last semester of high school. I just don’t know what to do. It feels like I have no one in my corner. I can literally count the people that genuinely care about me on three fingers I just wish I could talk to someone IRL about how I’ve been feeling without being sent to the mental hospital. (No literally my mom saw my sh and said she’d get my psychiatrist to admit me..) I feel so lost and alone and worthless I genuinely have been losing my mind. For so so many years I’ve felt like I’m just existing, not living.
Please if anyone has any advice at all please comment. I’m really sorry for the rant
Just believe in yourself:) you have what it takes, be less hard on yourself. And also you don’t need to plan a future, the future will unfold ehehe also if you want me to I can pray for you:)
Most of us feel that way at 17—even those of us who seem to have it all together on the outside! I remember those years and the helplessness I felt so well. Looking back, I think I can draw this conclusion: right now, as adolescence is ending, you’re right in the middle between realizing you’re just a speck of dust in the universe and seeing yourself at the center of the world. I think that’s the very core of what creates our inner chaos. Wanting to conquer the world and at the same time thinking, ‘What’s the point of it all?’… Don’t worry, when you start university, you’ll be busy with a new environment, new friends, and new responsibilities, and you’ll forget about this existential crisis for a while. The next crisis hits at 25, hehe.
Hey love, maybe you should take a break? I know you said you start university in September, but with everything you’re describing, it sounds like you’re pushing yourself too hard into something that’s too big on you right now.
Maybe you could benefit from a gap year, look for a job and do some volunteering, get involved in the community without the pressure of school putting you under further stress. I only just got my high school diploma and I’m turning 20 in December. I too struggled with sh and my mental health was very poor in grade 10 & 11, so I dropped out for a while to focus on myself. It is okay to take your time. School isn’t going anywhere. There are people in their 40s changing their minds and pursuing new pathways all the time. The way you go about pursuing your education is not so important as much as your health. And if my experiences taught me anything, you learn better when you live better.
And be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. When it comes to doing things you love and finding joy in them again, don’t force it. Put less pressure on those things to carry your burdens and instead put your restless and anxious energy into something rewarding like community work. Volunteering will not bring money, but it will give you a place to go, to learn, and to do something meaningful for yourself and others. And who knows? Maybe someone will know someone who could help you with other things. You never know where an opportunity lies. Just don’t sit still and wait for it to find you. Volunteer at a food pantry with a friend (involve your friends if you can— it will motivate you more) or maybe if you have a public library lend a hand, etc..
Overall just… take it easy. Or try to? It’s always easier said than done. But life will not slow down until you do. It’ll be okay in the end.
You remind me so much of myself when I was your age, so here is some friendly advice that helped me through some hard times..
Pick a field that you ACTUALLY like!! I am currently working on getting my bachelors in child and youth care + social work. In these types of courses, they teach you so many ways to cope with your emotions or when you feel that you are in crisis, which help both the patients you will be working with AND yourself. If you are not interested in social work, there is still time to figure out what you are actually interested in because you are still so young! (I changed my study from law to mental-health care)
There are therapists you can talk to who will not send you to a psychiatric facility, and will only tell your parents about what you spoke about with them if you are a danger to yourself or someone else as they have a confidentiality disclosure.
Don’t force yourself to get back into something. If it’s not bringing you joy anymore, it should not have to be something you bring back into your life, just give It time and things may change.
You don’t have to have your entire life figured out at 17. As I said before, you are still incredibly young and have your whole life ahead of you. It is absurd to think that you have to have an entire life-plan laid out for yourself when you are still a teenager, and it is completely okay to be not completely sure about what you want to pursue!
If you have any questions or just want to talk, my dms are always open!!
I’m so sorry you feel that way!!! I’m not sure I have any good advice, but just remember to have hope in even the hardest times. Lately I’ve had to remind myself of that too, so I hope things will get better for you soon.
I’m not sure if ur Christian but I went through something similar to this (tho I was a LOT younger) and the one thing that helped me was going to God with it, praying
I cannot express how similar your situation right now is to mine. I’m going to be 16 in almost a month and I have been having the same issues like burning out from SO MUCH WORK, losing friends, doing things im genuinely not interested in… So please hang in there! Things do get better overtime, and if you change your environment, goals, and mindset to something you actually feel comfortable and happy with deep inside, then things get better faster!
One thing that helped me a bit, especially from overworking and my stressed mental state right now, is to try something new. I know it sounds cliche, but, for example, try walking through a new route in your neighborhood, listening to new music genres, learning new dance choreos, trying new food, trying new hairstyles, basically something you haven’t tried yet. For me, these activities take my mind of worries and refresh my mind. Another one I like is communicating with people online (if you feel uneasy talking to ppl in real life), like on ribblr or skribbl. Telling someone whats going on in your life, hearing out other people, or just talking abt random things makes my day and feels like im not lonely, you know? Of course you need to be careful online to not give out personal info but these work for me and maybe for you too :) Hope you get better soon <3
What do you want to do in life? Ive read the book called"the degree free way" and you can find a career in the space you want without going to college. It’s been extremely helpful for me, and maybe just look into it! Like seriously I can have a job in nursing without having a degree. I can work in the space I want without college.
As for your instruments, I’d highly encourage you to learn and play worship songs and pray for guidance and help. Really dig into your relationship with God and if you don’t have one, it might be worth looking into. I’m sorry if this insults anyone, but every time I’ve felt like giving up, every time iv messed up so bad, God has been there. He is good and forgiving and wants you to seek him so you can work through the and grow your relationship through it. Try playing some worship songs (on the piano or over your phone!)
Definitely talk to someone! A therapist or school counselor! I know youre scared about being afmitted to the mental hospital, but if your mental health is suffering that much you might need to!
I hear you, and I am sorry you are carrying so much weight right now. Growing up in foster care and dealing with academic pressure can be tough, and it’s ok to feel this way. Please know that losing interest in the piano and crocheting isn’t just boredom or a lack of passion; it is a result of depression and burnout, and it is not your fault. You don’t have to force yourself to fix everything today.
Burnt out also means you did something for too long you got extremely bored or irritated with it. Too many activities, hobbies, or doomscrolling do that to you too. Drop all and leave one or two hobbies. Explore being whimsical and do things spontaneously. Like crochet at a coffee shop or park. Bring out your piano/ instrument to the mall and hang out with the crowd. Take on a gig like walking some dogs/cats or playing with a band. Go on a road trip with your violin on the weekend and live life. Friends will be made on the way!
Choose to volunteer with organizations that deal with people, animals, or the environment! You’ll meet so many good people and they might have the answers you seek. You can even explore topics or themes you might be interested in as a career and see how the environment is, like a free tuition or a window to possible futures. They can even offer advice on what next steps you can take to make it happen.
Thought of trade school? Maybe you’re more hands on and need a change? You’ll make good money and you can always go back to University when you are ready!
Hope this helped, Emmaa!
Little by little, the bird builds its nest. The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Carpe Diem (Seize the day).
first of all, i just wanted to say that you’re not alone. all of the people under this post care about you and how you’re doing.
as far as everyone else your age having their whole life planned out goes, everyone reaches different stages in life at different times, and that’s not a bad thing. please don’t think you need to have these things now, and it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out.
try to branch out and do some other things to hopefully help you find joy. volunteer somewhere for people in need, talk to one of the people who care about you, etc.
please remember everything is temporary. try to find joy in living, and please, if you ever need help, if you ever think of ending it, call the suicide hotline (811 for the USA) or a friend. you deserve to live and you have your whole life ahead of you.
do you know about Jesus? He loves you, understands you, and wants nothing but to help you! If you want to know more about him and the peace that I have firsthand experienced in my life from him, please dm me!!
(I apologize if this is offensive to anyone, but I have been called to share my beliefs and I am not ashamed of Him. How could I ever walk away from the One who saved my life?
(This is also not forcing religion, just an invitation. )
She cant get a psychiatrist to admit you without there being an evaluation first im pretty sure, also im really sorry you’re going through this but i feel like you should be talking to a crisis hotline instead, they stay confidential unless you are in danger to yourself or others. I can try to be more helpful if you’d like to PM me, i feel like advising on a public post is a bit exploitative.
I’m not that much younger than you, but I understand how you feel. Seeing everyone else out and about having their fun so early on feels very lonely, but you also have to keep in mind that they’re probably not doing as well as you. Where I live, there are many kids my age running around town having their fun, but it’s all their parents who are funding these trips for the most part, and if not, its cause they’re working a 9-5 for some quick cash to have fun with. Nothing is wrong if you work a 9-5 just as long as you have a plan, but most kids don’t . Most kids blow their 9-5 cash in that same week because they want to have fun but aren’t thinking about the future when life is truly gonna begin to get serious. But they will feel it, especially when they see everyone else is buying/renting a house or apartment and yet they’re still stuck living with their parents. I understand Uni may seem like a waste and that you feel burnt out, but just know you’re trying to get ahead of the game instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Just try to keep an end goal in mind.
I will make it out
i will have enough money and enough time to go live my life
I will succeed
I will prove not just to everyone but to myself that I can do it!
What can also help is keeping a purchase in mind; that’s what’s helped me push through my college classes so far, to be quite honest
An example could be
Your dream car
A house/apartment
A getaway trip
furniture/ interior designing your future house
Shopping for things you’d actually want
New electronics like a Nintendo Switch, MacBook, phone, headphones, VR
The financial freedom of not having to rely on your parents for everything (that ones a personal fav lol)
I hope this helped, and if you need someone to talk to you can reach out to me. I have a feeling me and you could relate a lot :)
I just wish I could talk to someone IRL about how I’ve been feeling without being sent to the mental hospital. (No literally my mom saw my sh and said she’d get my psychiatrist to admit me..) I feel so lost and alone and worthless I genuinely have been losing my mind. For so so many years I’ve felt like I’m just existing, not living.
The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. 
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. 
. Most kids blow their 9-5 cash in that same week because they want to have fun but aren’t thinking about the future when life is truly gonna begin to get serious. But they will feel it, especially when they see everyone else is buying/renting a house or apartment and yet they’re still stuck living with their parents. I understand Uni may seem like a waste and that you feel burnt out, but just know you’re trying to get ahead of the game instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Just try to keep an end goal in mind.