I don’t want kids. Is that such a bad thing? I’ve been told by my father so many times “If you don’t have kids you’re not a catholic woman” But is that really what makes me a woman? Am I only here to have children and pass away? It’s not that I’m scared of what could happen when I’d give birth, it’s the person I’ll make. A girl who wants to love but doesn’t know how. A girl who’s angry and loud. A girl who didn’t want to end up acting like her father but still did. A girl who is just like her mother who ended up a broken person. And that girl would be mine because I couldn’t be okay with not agreeing with my father, being someone who might disappoint someone. Instead I made what will be in my child’s eyes a mistake.
Please note this is not meant to be good, if you think it’s bad then so be it. I just needed to get me thoughts out somewhere.
“If you don’t have kids you’re not a catholic woman” … has he ever met a nun?
“You aren’t a real catholic if you do/don’t do x”
That’s a prime example of the no true Scotsman fallacy, which basically is just “if you do/don’t do x then you’re not really part of that group” which is incorrect.
Unless the thing you’re doing is a direct contradiction to the core principals of the group then you’re just fine (:
You’re a real catholic woman because you’re a) a woman and b) follow and abide by the rules and laws set forth by the Catholic Church.
You not wanting kids doesn’t make you any less catholic than someone else (:
I wish people would stop judging others for not having kids (religions be damned). Honestly it’s so much better for some to not have kids cause I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t want any until my late 20s when my husband finally convinced me. While I think I’m a good mom, I have moments where I wished he hadn’t been able to change my mind. I do love her and I wouldn’t want her to ever leave me now, but it’s exhausting. They are a lot of work and no one should ever feel forced into a lifelong commitment they don’t feel ready for just because someone else’s opinion or some religious belief. You do you and anyone who tells you otherwise should feel ashamed.
Also wanted to add: this is your decision. You don’t owe your father anything. You don’t have to argue about it or justify your choices to him. In fact, you don’t have to discuss this with him ever. If he brings up the topic, you are free to ignore him or shut down the conversation with a simple “I’m not talking about it”
Oh if you don’t mind me, I’m going to move this to the Personal spaces 
> All The Things which is for like vents and mental health (:
Oh thanks for correcting that, I wasn’t sure exactly where to post it
It’s not uncommon nowadays for women to not want kids, a lot of my friends don’t want/have any. I didn’t want any and I was dead set on it, but life finds a way 
I had my son at age 31 and I love him dearly, but there are definitely days where I wish I wasn’t a parent. It’s not easy, especially when you’re committed to them. No one should shame you for your wants/beliefs and who knows, you might change your mind somewhere down the line and that’s okay too! Life is a crazy rollercoaster and your opinions and beliefs change as you age, it’s called growth. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. Do what makes you happy 
First, I just want to say, if you did make a child - they’re not a clone of you, they’re 100% their own person, with their own personality. And you aren’t a clone of your parents, and any mistakes etc that they made with you, you are not obligated to repeat, in fact, it’s more likely you would do the opposite since you know what to avoid. So if you wanted children except were scared to for that reason, totally not something to fear.
That said. You absolutely 110% do not have to have children. You should not have children for any reason than the fact that you want to have them. Plenty of women/couples choose not to have kids, for various reasons. Nothing at all wrong with that, no matter why.
Your father is spouting a crapton of nonsense, and sounds like a rather toxic person that maybe you want some distance from.
Maybe someday you change your mind and want kids (whether by birthing them or adopting or fostering), that’d be great, you can change your mind at any time! Maybe you never change your mind, that is also great, you’re allowed to know your own mind!
Just make sure you are living for you and not anyone else.
Real. My parents and relatives say this kinda stuff too all the time. Plus i, being aroace, dont plan on getting a partner and much less getting married to someone. And god they hate me so much for that…
(my parents are super strict conservative christians so theres that too)
I never had kids and I’m a Catholic. I never felt an overwhelming desire to have kids. If I’d met the right man and fallen in love then maybe I would have had kids, but I didn’t meet Mr. Right and so I didn’t have kids, and I’m perfectly happy with that. Please only do what you feel is right for you. It’s your life. Having kids is a huge responsibility and when I see what the world is like now I’m so glad I don’t have to raise kids in all the craziness of what’s going on out there. And no, having children is not the only thing that makes you a woman. You have the ability to choose whether or not to bring a child into this world. It’s a more complicated world we live in today and it’s scary, even for adults. And then if you are dealing with mental heath issues it adds a completely new layer of complexity and you wonder and worry if you’ll pass that on to your children. It sounds as though your father may be ‘old school’ where he believes a women’s place is as a ‘homemaker’. That may have been how it was 50+ years ago but the world isn’t like that anymore. Remember, this is your decision and yours alone, not your father’s. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being childless if that’s what you choose.