Attention all you lonely, misunderstood souls!!
I have the PERFECT gift for you!! For NO FEE AT ALL, you can adopt a new friend!!
Here are the contents of the adopt a friend package:
- 1 adopted introvert friend
- ability to vent no matter what the situation
- jokes and stories on demand
- inspo for new projects
AND MUCH MORE!!!
GET IN TOUCH WITH ME BY DIRECT MESSAGE AND LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!!
warning: adopted introvert has delicate social battery so unresponsiveness may be that they are recharging or they have left the server we call Earth. T’s and C’s apply
Available while stocks last
23 Likes
Ooooh I like this offer!!
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Very interesting deal. Does this friend come with any other benefits? How about free shipping?
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Can the friend count to 50?
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Unfortunately not, this friend is digital but with the likeness of you and your fellow human fleshbags!!
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Interesting. Can this friend count stitches for me with 100% accuracy bc I’m too lazy to do that on my own?
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Quite possibly. We have not tested that hypothesis at the time of reply.
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Final question, can this friend take the form of a bee/grow wings/allow me to grow wings and jump out of a window from the top floor of a 16 story building and achieve my lifelong dream.
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As previously stated, this product is digital and digital alone. You shan’t achieve your dream of jumping off of a 16 story building and flying into the sunset by using this product
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Sighs. Well, after taking this into careful consideration, I have decided that… drumroll please:
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(This is not rhetorical, can I have a drumroll?)
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I shall adopt said friend!!!
Insert ridiculous amount of fine print
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But what if i am the introvert?
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You can adopt someone with the same likeness as yourself
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I don’t want you to be used 
As you told me, “humans are meant to be loved, not used”
But thanks for the offer!!
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I believe you have misunderstood my request. I am doing this for my own enjoyment and beneficial gain as I learn more about the humans who inhabit Ribblr
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This is my attempt to socialise
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