Ok, I will preface this by saying this: if you are going to judge me, just leave. Don’t even read this. I have enough shade thrown upon me by people I love. I’m not about to take it from people I don’t. Okay? Okay.
Alright, I’m gonna admit it: with my ADHD executive dysfunction combined with poor organizational skills and just run of the mill laziness, I have a really hard time cleaning. So I tend to leave things, but then the longer I leave them, the more I don’t know where to start. And it forms a never ending loop - well, more like a spiral, but you get the idea.
So… my room hasn’t been cleaned in about six months… and deep cleaned, I don’t even know when. It looks worse than any room you have ever seen, not kidding (I know, I know, please don’t judge me. Believe me, I hate the mess too, and myself for making it). It will take me a good week to clean up, and more to organize properly.
So I could use some advice. What helps you to clean? How to do you get started and avoid executive dysfunction and paralysis? How do you keep yourself from losing focus and stopping halfway through? How do you convince yourself that you don’t have to keep everything from the past 21 years? How do you keep stuff organized? I have a lot of supp.ies for different hobbies that I can’t just throw away, plus a ton of handmade items for charity that I can’t mail out yet and market prep that I don’t know where to store.
Please try not to be too mean. I know that by conventional standards I am a pig and a slob, though I don’t mean to be and I don’t wish to be. Believe me, it is very hard for me to say all this. But I know I need the help, so I am trying to be brave.
You’re not a pig and a slob! Give yourself grace! I totally understand what you are going through. I have OCD and when I clean I get really hyper fixated in throwing tons of stuff or sometimes I just hoard and don’t want to throw away/ organize anything.
I recommend you can start slow by sorting things you don’t like anymore: things you’ve outgrown, trash like wrappers or scraps, old toys, etc. and ho from there. You can start by organizing slowly, categories of different stuff like craft supplies in a bin, that sort of thing. I hope this helps! Sorry the comment was very long.
Biggest reason I clean is if my mom is coming over I do a simple clean when friends come over and more deep if it’s people I don’t know. But i don’t know if you’re the type to care about what people think of your mess. If you aren’t then that won’t work
I have slight OCD, which is awful at points, since it keeps me from sleeping in a messy room . You’re not a slob in any way! I find music/audiobooks, something to listen to in the background helps to not lose focus.
First off, you’re not a pig or a slob—you’re someone dealing with ADHD and executive dysfunction, which means cleaning isn’t just “a quick task” for your brain. It’s like asking someone with a sprained ankle to sprint. You’re not broken, you just need a different strategy.
Here’s what’s worked for me
Don’t aim to “clean the room” in one go. Pick a micro goal like “clear the top of my desk” or “fill one trash bag” or “find 5 things to throw away.”—tiny wins build momentum.
Set a timer for 5–15 minutes and work only until it goes off.
If you have energy after, do another round. If not, that’s still progress.
Create “sorting stations”
Have three boxes or bags:
Keep (but needs a home)
Trash/recycle
Donate/give away
If you can’t decide where something goes in under 5 seconds, it’s “Keep” for now—you can deal with it later once the chaos is reduced.
You don’t have to keep everything from the past 21 years.
Ask:
“Do I actually use this?”
“Would I buy this again if I didn’t have it?”
“If it vanished, would I even notice?”
If the answer’s “no,” let it go.
It’s ok!!! I always do that, like a can’t, just can’t throw things away like I know this sounds stupid but I end up feeling bad for an old teddy or smth that I had to get rid of. T ^ T my family don’t get me and they think I’m being dumb but yh ummm well usually when I start i like listen to “motivational” music and like zone out but sometimes I just feel really lazy and push it to the next day and the next and then I never do it :( also do not let me hear u say that abt urself ever again u need to help urself up not push urself back down u r not a pig or a slob u r brave just like u said at the really end and u don’t need to be scared bc not everyone will judge u and yh there i go blabbing on and on don’t mind me ig :] anyways STAY STRONG!!! we’re here for u!!! :P
I struggle so much with this too! Sometimes I just can’t do it but when I do manage, these are the things I do
I put on music or a TV show that I know very well In the background so that it fills the need for background noise but if it’s a show I’ve watched 10 times then I won’t be distracted by the plot because I know whats going out happen.
Id try starting off by writing down the first three little steps. Things like pick up these three books and put them away, get the yarn from my bed and put it in a box etc and then have mini rewards after each little section like have a few skittles or something because you can get the dopamine hit from finishing a list and from the little rewards.
If there’s a whole lot of stuff you just don’t know what to do with, you could get three big boxes/bags/piles. One box is things you definitely don’t need to keep, one box is stuff you want to keep but don’t need handy all the time, and one box is stuff you want easy access to(as well as a laundry basket for dirty clothes) that way you have two sets of things and you can go through at youre own pace, still including the lists and rewards if it helps you like ‘put ten things away’ and then have a cookie. And even if it takes a few days to sort out the boxes, keep them there so that when you use something you can put it into one of the boxes
I hope some of these tips help, and I know how awful it is to want so desperately to be able to fix it but not be able to, go easy on yourself it’s clear you’re trying your best :))
I think it is helpful for me!
*My family also has cleaners come every 2 weeks so I have to clean my room when that happens. (That’s tomorrow and my room still isn’t clean )
*I will also play music! I love benson boones music and I’m a swifty so I have a playlist of just benson Boone and Taylor swift.
I ust to watch a show while I clean but that is SO destractinf and did not work well for me.
*I have this big walk in closet and it was the biggest mess you have ever seen. Like cloths and tangled yarn up to your waist. Not good.
Also under my bed was also a HUGE mess. My dad would never leave me alone about it. I would ask to go get yarn or something and he would say “is your closet clean?” So I could never get anything. So what I did was I cleaned my closet and under my bed in secret so next time I could be like “BAM CLEAN”
It worked and have still not been denied to get yarn.
*I will also set a 10 minute timer and see what I can get done in time! I will usually play atwtmvtv. (All too well ten minutes version Taylor’s version) lol! And I will just see what I can get done in that time and then take a 5 minute break and then do it again.
*lastly I will either split my room into sections or I will work on one thing at a time. By that I mean I have 5 sections in my room. I will clean a section then take a short break then another section. But if I just work on one thing at a time I will pick up all the cloths. Then all the yarn. Then all the pink things, blue things, green things, etc.
Sorry this message was SO long! I hope this helps and good luck! Also I can assure you that you are NOT the only one with this problem. A while ago my room wasn’t clean for like 2 years. It was bad. I’m getting better and I hope you can do the same!
I totally agree with you I have the same problem also if I clean to long for whatever reason I feel like I’m lightheaded and gonna throw up. My best method is sections like 1 day I’ll do my bookshelf and that’s it and the next will be my cloth butDon’t really know how to help but wishing you the best of luck.
I have a old doll that literally has a head that comes on and off (kinda creepy) but it was my childhood favorite toy and I could never get rid of it but at the same time it’s sooo ugly
What i do is organize things into piles. (Keep, donate, trash). Obviously throw the trash away, but donate in trash bags or something, then put the keep into different piles like clothing, crafts, ect, from there obv put clothes in laundry or wherever it goes, crafts i have different baskets and containers for each one (ie: big baskets for yarn, hooks in old flower pot, a different container for my coloring books, ect). I find that putting things in different containers is kinda like a side quest if that makes sense. I hope this helps. Also not so much now but i also liked to organize by color.
Also i liked to have different color bins for things, for example id keep my yarn in a pink bin, and color stuff in a blue one
This also might start out as making your room look messier at first but its a real “trust the process” kinda thing
I have a similar problem. I give myself 5 small “jobs” to accomplish. Like if you have clean laundry out, it would be fold it. Then put it away. Next job, ect ect.
Seriously, you all are so sweet you’re making me cry!!!
For those of you who have told me not to, the reason why I call myself a slob and pig is because I have been called those things ever since I was a child. I have had my stuff thrown away more than once (including stuff I bought for myself, have been threatened to be kicked out, publicly shamed, told it’s my fault we can’t move bc I’m too much of a slob, and more. Now, I am not blaming or shaming my parents. They do not do it to be mean, they just see the mess, not the person who is trapped therein. But when you hear those things, you start to believe them and adopt them as your truth, especially when there is an already loud and cruel voice in your head.
However, with all of your help, I am determined to change that. So thank you for every last little piece of advice and encouragement! It means so much to me that all of your understand and share compassion.
I promise you are not a pig or a slob. I have been called those things before too. Not by my parents but by friends. cough Rachelle cough I mean wait whatttttt……
I am truly sorry and I hope you are doing ok!
Also I’m sorry this is so off topic but I have recently discovered sparkly hearts!!!
(I really like them hehehehehehehhe)
I do a simple clean when friends come over and more deep if it’s people I don’t know. But i don’t know if you’re the type to care about what people think of your mess. If you aren’t then that won’t work 
. You’re not a slob in any way! I find music/audiobooks, something to listen to in the background helps to not lose focus.
we’re here for u!!! :P
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