Happy memories hurt the most (poem)

Sometimes happy memories hurt the most

Even the things associated with those memories

I remember looking out the window at our grandparents with you

Seeing if we could spot any deer, or turkeys

With the binoculars

The sun would be setting, the orange, yellows, and purples in the sky

Sometimes with pink, the cloud were pretty, I loved the sunsets

You’d always talk about the sizes of the deer when we’d see them

I remember your Kentucky accent and the way you spoke

I remember watching you make jewelry at family events

I still have the earrings and necklaces you made

The buffalo nickels, and snake vertebrae’s on the earrings

I treasure them, the turquoise beads, the pretty blue with black spots

I remember going camping

We’d go fishing, I’d sit by you and we’d talk about how pretty the lake was

The sun reflecting on the greenish blue water,

The plants in the water swaying back and forth with the breeze

When you’d catch a fish you’d get so excited

Talking about the size telling me about the fish and what kind it was

Everything I know about fishing I’ve learned from you

I remember staying at the lake longer than everyone else

With you fishing and talking about your war stories

I remember wanting to go into the navy because of you

You’d always tell jokes about little things,

The room was never quiet with you,

I remember the jokes you told, with your voice and the moment it happened

I remember when I was younger and it was my birthday

I remember your Kentucky accent and fast pace talking

Handing me over a bag of rocks, and you telling me all about them,

Even though some of them were crystals and geodes, I never broke them

I still treasure them, and I don’t take them out of the bag

Even when you were in your death bed, you still made jokes

Even acting like your old self, you stayed strong during that time

I remember you comparing cancer to your experience in the navy

Saying it was nothing compared to the navy

I remembered visiting your grave earlier, remembering everything we did together

I cherish these moments

My birthdays spent with you, every Sunday, and camping

All filled with memories, with you in them

I’d never forget the moments we’ve shared together

I remember you saying you won the lottery while on your death bed

Because it could be worse, when you passed i remembered you saying that.

As much as it hurt to see you go, and how much it still hurts,

I try to stay strong, and know that you didn’t want anyone to dwell on this

These are the happiest memories I have,

How much they hurt to remember, along with the jewelry, crystals, and rocks

I’ve gotten from you, it hurts to look at them, or even talk about them

Let alone wear them, I still think about you

When I see something that reminds me of you, I think to myself

‘Gramps would have loved that’

Along with memories are grief, and happy moments that I will never forget and I will always cherish the moments we had together.

2/14/24

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i feel like that to after my babysit died

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